You may wonder what all the recent headlines about Harry and Meghan, Duke and Duchess of Sussex, have to do with you. Surely the lives of wealthy celebrities, let alone members of the British royal family, have little to do with the lives of ordinary citizens. What can you possibly have in common with them, when your purpose is to work out a relationship with God? The answer lies in one of the most universal aspects of a quest: disruptive change.
Shared experience ~ Wikimedia Commons/Office of the Governor-General of New Zealand
Long ago, I did something similar to what Meghan and Harry have done, uprooting my life and leaving behind family, friends, employment and almost all my possessions. I moved to what seemed like strange and alien territory thousands of miles away. In doing so, I threw off one of the biggest impediments to life and growth – the yoke of expectation. Until then, it was a burden I didn’t even know I carried.
It isn’t easy to step back and view our lives through the lens of independence. Until we do, it is difficult to understand how much we are shaped by other people’s expectations.
The expectations of family are imposed almost from birth, and come from sources like family history, race, social and economic status, location, and countless other factors. For Harry and Meghan, these were magnified tenfold by belonging to a royal family.
The expectations of friends also share some of these factors, and include others from school, social and job environments. Friends can be obstacles to a quest when the changes it demands threaten their own sense of security. Meghan and Harry are fortunate to be good confidants to each other, but also to have allies and advisers who are independent of royal influence.
The expectations of employers and coworkers are less a constraint today than in years past. Employers who treat workers like an expendable resource are no longer due the privilege of employee loyalty. Coworkers, on the other hand, although they may feel threatened in the same way friends do, may be more sympathetic to someone else leaving a soul-limiting job.
Always the imperative to live and grow into new life needs to be distinguished from the selfish desire to simply escape personal responsibilities. There is a moral calculation to be made when the needs of truly dependent children or aging parents are involved. That calculation and its outcome then become a part of the quest itself. In an interesting twist, part of the impetus for Harry and Meghan to forge a new life is the desire to give their a child a healthier family and social environment.
It is no wonder that quests are so often given a kickstart by upheaval, whether it comes in the form of illness, loss, or shocking epiphany. Whatever the cause of the awakening, it is only the end of the beginning, not the beginning of the end. There will be many steps backward, many detours, many obstacles to be overcome. It is a time to begin casting off all heavy weights of expectation that slow the odyssey, and acquire the weightless things that bring Godspeed to the quest.
Note:
You can find the official photo of the Duke and Duchess of Sussex in New Zealand here on Wikimedia Commons.
.jpg){kind=link}